var quotes = new Array('So far, I enjoy every food EXCEPT BLACK LICORICE! Yuk.','Proud to be an American, but moreso an earthling. We are the best.','My Dad always said, "Empty barrels make the most noise". I believed that, until one day, I came across a barrel of monkeys.','I have a car, but would trade it for public transportation that allows our dogs to ride along.','I have a soul, but would trade it for a new mountain bike. ','“Never talk to strangers” is some of the worst advice ever.','I like my humor like I like my boxers—dry.','I usually stay up till the wee hours of the morning working on computer programs that will one day prove I am the laziest man alive.','I once drew a self-portrait of God, then erased it, because I’m a humble man.','If I could travel to any single place on the globe...I would.','Confusion is like finding a chocolate..in a box of chocolates.','I have one titanium femur, so I am mildly bionic. Neato!','Yes, that is my handwriting your see above.','I produce creative solutions...clients appreciate that, my high school chemistry teacher did not.','Both my feet are US mens size 11 1/2.');
var max = quotes.length;
var num = Math.floor((Math.random() * max));
document.writeln(quotes[num]);
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